Meetin’ Wheaton Makes Me Go Corky, Wherein Many Ellipses, Parenthetical Thoughts, and Bad Punctuation Abound

Friday night, Mr. Cupcakes and I had the glorious opportunity to attend w00tstock here in Seattle. For those of you who are not part of the geek elite, w00tstock is a little shindig created by the Dark Lord of the l33t, Wil Wheaton, and 2 guys whom I had never heard of until the show, Paul and Storm. It’s billed as “3 Hours of Geeks and Music”, and it so lived up to that name that it ended up being 4 hours of pure nerd bliss. This was a beautiful, almost transcendent experience. I sat in the theatre, seeing dozens of people I knew and or recognized from around town. Former coworkers, people I went to school with, hell, I even ran into the guy who introduced me to my husband there. The show opened with Ceiling Cat and “Also sprach Zarathustra”*, and only got bigger and better until the end. There wasn’t a single low or forgettable moment for the entire 4 hours and I will see it again if it ever comes back to Seattle.

This was the “Trololo” bit with Paul and Storm and Wil Wheaton. Very silly, but oh so fun.

After the show, hubby and I stayed to get autographs. I was wondering what I would say to Wil Wheaton, seeing as you are socially obligated to say SOMETHING meaningful to a complete stranger when you ask them for their signature (unless, of course, you are the UPS guy). When I got up to him, he was very gracious, signed my poster and I sincerely thanked him for the show.

Then, as typically happens to me when I least want it to, I got retarded…
Read more…

Personal revelation: I am a big Russophile (that’s a lover of Russian culture, not some creepy new fetish). I studied Russian in school during the height of the cold war. I collected Soviet memorabilia at a time when it was scarce on these shores. When other girls had posters of Duran Duran on their walls, I had Baryshnikov. I can still recite the former Soviet republics IN RUSSIAN and in geographical order. I work with Russians. I’ve dated Russians. I even managed to read most of War and Peace. In short, I am well acquainted with this region of the world and it’s inhabitants.

And I have just blocked the entire country (and adjacent former republics).

That’s right, you spammy bastards. I am on a one woman crusade to BAN you from using this site for your own nefarious purposes. As much as it pains me to throw the baby out with the bathwater, you have left me with no choice. Until I can find a more surgical way to remove the locusts known as “spammers without penises”, all questionable IPs and addresses coming from that region are banned. If you are a real user in that area, I apologize for this action. You can still read the site, you just can’t join or comment.

Until then… WE DANCE!

Growing up in “The Great Northwest”, I was always confused as to why it always looked like southern California on tv. Oh, and it is interesting to note that Bigfoot is apparently bionic.

And a very surreal clip after the cut…
Read more…

I thought this was a joke. It isn’t, it was a real commercial. I don’t often pull these out of my bag of evil, but this commercial calls for a lolcat…

Seriously, as you watch this, glance at the kitteh’s face periodically. It enhances the helium-induced psychosis of this ad.

Photo by Art Rock (Hennie)
The Leezard and I are relocating to a new domicile at the end of this month, so posts for the next few weeks will mostly be of the short and sweet variety. It’s too hard to be snarky when your desk is buried in boxes.

As a kid, I had a 45 record (back in the old days, kiddies, music came on REALLY BIG CDs made of stone and you had to put them on a spinny thing and put a live bird’s beak into the grooves to make the music come out) of Halloween stories and songs for kids. One of the stories on that 45 really freaked me out. Since it is a “love” story of sorts, it seems appropriate for V-Day. Let me share my version of it, as I remember it, with you…

Once upon a time, a man was searching for a wife- without much success. He was a rich man, but very particular and controlling. He interviewed many potential candidates, but each one was too thin, or too portly, or too stupid, or too clever, or too blond, or too brunette.

One day, a woman came by his mansion selling flowers. In her simple blue dress and black ribbon tied at her neck, she was by far the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, with long jet black hair, skin like porcelain, ruby red lips, and eyes like coal. She proved in conversation to be demure and intelligent, but not overly opinionated or contrary. She was in every way the perfect woman for him. After a brief courtship, they married, and she came to live in his vast estate on the hill.

As time went by, the couple seemed happy, and he lavished her with gifts of jewelry and imported dresses from far away lands. She cherished each ensemble, wearing it proudly, yet never removing the ribbon from around her neck- even while sleeping. This began to nag at the husband. When he asked her about the ribbon, she dismissed him, saying that it covered a scar she acquired in childhood. He asked to see it, but she refused, saying it embarrassed her to display this particular imperfection. He became angry. Surely, as her husband, he had every right to see her as she was. This minor blemish could not diminish his love for her, could it? She gently refused again and walked off to wander the gardens in her own graceful way.

As the weeks progressed, the husband found himself growing more and more agitated at the thought of the ribbon. The sight of it nagged at his eyes, like a beacon of reproach. How dare she deny him? After all he had given her! In all other things she was dutiful and obedient, but this, THIS was unacceptable. His selfish mind hatched a plan to strip her of this conceit and prove to her once and for all that she was his and his alone, not the subject of that oppressive slice of silk at her throat. He waited until she she was asleep in bed, and crept toward her, scissors grasped greedily in his hand. he carefully slid the cold, chrome device between the cold, snowy flesh of her throat and the ribbon, and with one snip it parted and fell away.

And with it came her head.

The head rolled onto the floor eyes open and accusing. It let out one mournful scream, “WHY!!!??” before the light in it’s coal black eyes extinguished and died.

Photo by crowolf
My now-husband and I have been doing this site for over a year now. It’s a true labor of love, since we don’t host any ads, send any spam, or sell any products. I apologize for the spotty lapses in posts, but we both have real jobs and it’s been a busy year. We have a pretty decent, if mostly silent, reader base, and the stats keep going up steadily. Spread the word!

Recent Changes
*added a link checker to keep old posts from breaking.
*added a new stat tracker
*gave the site a facelift
*added a star rating system to posts

We are also slowly expanding into to other realms of creepy subject matter. As a child, I was addicted to tales of Forteana, ghosts, oddities, and mysteries. Since this clearly warped my world view, we will be incorporating more contemporary and non-childhood related subject matter from time to time.

If there is something you would like to share with us, we are always looking for more and diverse content. You can submit your Scars here. Yes, I fixed the form. I had no idea that one of the plugins I was using for the form captcha had ceased to be supported, so that’s gone.

Stats of Interest
Most popular story: Tie- Talking Tina / Evil Muppets
Most Inexplicable Search Term: autocoitus (WTF?)

Photo by Patrick Q
Merry Christmas (NSFW or your innocence) and Happy Holidays!
10 Creepy Santas
Sketchy Santas
Creepy Christmas
Worst Holiday Movies Ever
Merry Christmas from Juniper Creek (for you Big Love fans out there)

Photo by stuant63
The big challenge to running this site (other than finding the time) is trying to find content worthy of its subject matter. Since the focus has been so narrow, I would often find myself coming across things that were truly creepy, but weren’t necessarily childhood related. I have decided to expand the scope to encompass a broader swathe of unsettling and nightmare-inducing topics. Look for new posts coming soon!

Welp, I am now officially Mrs. Leezard! We are back and there should be new posts coming in the near future. Thanks for your patience!