Scarred for Life

Pop Culture Destroying Young Minds

Archive for the 'Folklore' Category

Ghost Stories: The Black Ribbon

As a kid, I had a 45 record (back in the old days, kiddies, music came on REALLY BIG CDs made of stone and you had to put them on a spinny thing and put a live bird’s beak into the grooves to make the music come out) of Halloween stories and songs for kids. One of the stories on that 45 really freaked me out. Since it is a “love” story of sorts, it seems appropriate for V-Day. Let me share my version of it, as I remember it, with you…

Once upon a time, a man was searching for a wife- without much success. He was a rich man, but very particular and controlling. He interviewed many potential candidates, but each one was too thin, or too portly, or too stupid, or too clever, or too blond, or too brunette.

One day, a woman came by his mansion selling flowers. In her simple blue dress and black ribbon tied at her neck, she was by far the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, with long jet black hair, skin like porcelain, ruby red lips, and eyes like coal. She proved in conversation to be demure and intelligent, but not overly opinionated or contrary. She was in every way the perfect woman for him. After a brief courtship, they married, and she came to live in his vast estate on the hill.

As time went by, the couple seemed happy, and he lavished her with gifts of jewelry and imported dresses from far away lands. She cherished each ensemble, wearing it proudly, yet never removing the ribbon from around her neck- even while sleeping. This began to nag at the husband. When he asked her about the ribbon, she dismissed him, saying that it covered a scar she acquired in childhood. He asked to see it, but she refused, saying it embarrassed her to display this particular imperfection. He became angry. Surely, as her husband, he had every right to see her as she was. This minor blemish could not diminish his love for her, could it? She gently refused again and walked off to wander the gardens in her own graceful way.

As the weeks progressed, the husband found himself growing more and more agitated at the thought of the ribbon. The sight of it nagged at his eyes, like a beacon of reproach. How dare she deny him? After all he had given her! In all other things she was dutiful and obedient, but this, THIS was unacceptable. His selfish mind hatched a plan to strip her of this conceit and prove to her once and for all that she was his and his alone, not the subject of that oppressive slice of silk at her throat. He waited until she she was asleep in bed, and crept toward her, scissors grasped greedily in his hand. he carefully slid the cold, chrome device between the cold, snowy flesh of her throat and the ribbon, and with one snip it parted and fell away.

And with it came her head.

The head rolled onto the floor eyes open and accusing. It let out one mournful scream, “WHY!!!??” before the light in it’s coal black eyes extinguished and died.

~Evilcupcakes
VN:F [1.9.3_1094]
Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes cast)
Share and Enjoy:
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • MySpace
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • FriendFeed
  • Tumblr
  • Yahoo! Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • RSS
  • blogmarks
  • Add to favorites
  • email
posted by evilcupcakes in Folklore,Uncategorized and have No Comments

While the Grown Ups Were Away… My Bonny

Why is this song here? Personal trauma. As a kid, I somehow misheard these lyrics as being “My Body”. The only reason I could see a person’s body would be lying all over the place would be if it was a DEAD body. “Bring back my body to me” sounded like the wail of a non-corporeal wraith, trapped between worlds and yearning for a return to its physical self. I seriously thought this was what the song was about, until I was in my tweens and someone overheard me singing it. As if puberty wasn’t embarrassing enough.

So, Pete the Camp and Experiential Education Enthusiast, what does your shirt think of all this?

~Evilcupcakes
VN:F [1.9.3_1094]
Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
Share and Enjoy:
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • MySpace
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • FriendFeed
  • Tumblr
  • Yahoo! Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • RSS
  • blogmarks
  • Add to favorites
  • email
posted by evilcupcakes in Folklore,Games,Music,Strange Ideas and have No Comments

While the Grown Ups Were Away… Bunny Foo Foo

Bopping field mice on the head? Bunny Foo Foo is a JERK! And what the heck is a goon? For some reason, I always pictured a goon as some sort of malevolent goblin. How is that going to improve the situation? Gee, thanks, Good Fairy, for unleashing a monstrous rabbit-demon hybrid with head crushing proclivities on the world!

Sing us out, Pete the Camp and Experiential Education Enthusiast (and his shirt)!

~Evilcupcakes
VN:F [1.9.3_1094]
Rating: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)
Share and Enjoy:
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • MySpace
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • FriendFeed
  • Tumblr
  • Yahoo! Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • RSS
  • blogmarks
  • Add to favorites
  • email
posted by evilcupcakes in Folklore,Music and have No Comments

While the Grown Ups Were Away… Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts

Ah, the gross-out song. This song still makes me gag a little. No one is sure of its origins, or why someone decided to immortalize a decaying rodent around the campfire, but millions of kids want to thank that person for giving them a foul weapon against their fussy kid sister.

There is a scene in the book “The Dead Zone”, where, as a child, the protagonist accidentally puts his hand into the remains of a putrid, dead gopher. If I remember correctly, the passage even quotes this song.

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little birdie feet.
Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
And me without my spoon.

This guy is Pete. According to his YouTube profile, Pete is a “camp and experiential education enthusiast”. You will be seeing more of Pete and his shirt in the future.

~Evilcupcakes
VN:F [1.9.3_1094]
Rating: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)
Share and Enjoy:
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • MySpace
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Google Bookmarks
  • FriendFeed
  • Tumblr
  • Yahoo! Bookmarks
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • RSS
  • blogmarks
  • Add to favorites
  • email
posted by evilcupcakes in Folklore,Games,Music and have No Comments
Better Tag Cloud