American’s love to make fun of German accents. Sure, it’s a harsh language, but it is also a very elegant and expressive language. However, multiple encounters have taught me that the American accent is hilarious to Germans as well. And with typical German directness they will tell you so.
Random German: You are American? Me: Yes, what gave me away? Random German:makes a nasally grinding “myah myah myah” sound while making a puppet mouth with their hand to indicate my accent Me: I see….
This week, we took the train to Leipzig, then rented a car and drove across the country to Kassel to visit the Grimm Brothers Museum. However, once we got there, I discovered that since I planned my trip last summer, they had closed the museum and instead opened an interactive, hi-tech, ultra-modern museum called “Grimmwelt” that was more focused on their linguistic work. In the end, the museum was fun and worth it, but I was still rather disappointed.
Berlin officially has the most psychotic weather. Last week, it was sunny and warm T-shirt weather, today it is hovering around 0c and it might snow tonight. And the reason everyone wears “The Scarf” is because the wind here is like opening a walk-in freezer. Was thinking about going to the weird flea market in the derelict building where the artist commune is, but it’s freaking COLD out there. Still, it would be beyond awesome to see Berlin in the snow…
Berlin. Photo by Scarlett Messenger
Well, instead of a romantic dusting of snow in Berlin we got about 20 minutes of freezing cold Sky Slurpee. It’s so stinking cold here, but these super old buildings with their Soviet era refurbishments are built like bunkers and we haven’t had to turn the heat on today yet.
Topography of Terror Museum, Berlin. Photo by Scarlett Messenger
Hey, you know what isn’t a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon in Berlin? The Gestapo museum. Required viewing if you come here, but now I just want to sit under a tree and cry for a week. Also, Americans have no sense of respect or solemnity. One does not take selfies with Hitler and flash a super kawaii peace sign and duck face. Seriously.
So we went out and had the most awesome and perfect day in Berlin today. Beer and radlers in Viktoriapark, doener at Mustafa’s in Kreuzberg, wandering in a gorgeous old cemetery, buying liqueurs at a small distillery (after liberal sampling of their wares first), a crazy and eccentric book shop run by a British ex-pat who was a total character, pulled pork and sauerkraut at Markthalle IX, gelato for dessert, then off to a totally amazing little bar that was playing incredible music from the 80s for legit absinthe, then stopping for more beer at Gorki Park across the street. Come home and Prince is dead. Well, shit.
Ben and me, Kottbusser Tor, Berlin. Photo by Elliott Cribbs
In watching the tv and listening to the radio in Germany, it seems that they are obsessed with the late 70s/early 80s. Also, SO MUCH FOREIGNER. Seriously, we’ve hear “Juke Box Hero” like 5 times in the last 2 days. And you haven’t lived until you have heard a radio station play Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5” followed by Rammstein.
This was the site of an ancient Pagan religious center with multiple altars, where animals — and occasionally humans — were sacrificed to their gods on very special days.
Externsteine was awesome. I climbed up 90ft to stand at the top and immediately freaked the hell out and had to crawl down on my ass like a crab (I have SEVERE agoraphobia and literally can’t stand on a step ladder without getting scared, so I am proud I did it). Hameln is beautiful, friendly, and oddly full of children, and a great way to end the trip. Oh, and I yelled at a duck. Videos coming soon, back to Berlin tomorrow. I am actually homesick for it!
There is a farmer’s market in the lot next door to our hotel. Damn, people are friendly in Hameln! Seriously, if you ever come to Germany, make sure you come here. Especially in the spring. Also, American English sounds Linda from Bob’s Burgers to the rest of the world. And Germans will point this out to you- in a good natured way, of course.
Geismar is one of the supposed locations where St. Boniface cut down Donar’s sacred tree in the 8th century. He later died when he though he was über enough to block a sword with a bible. He wasn’t.
OMG, HOME!! Got my Berliner Pilsner, my Döner from across the street, the sun is shining, and I can hear the bells of the Berliner Dom ringing for evening Vespers in the distance. Ahhhhhh. Next best thing to being at home on the island!
Ugh, all this “carpe diem” is wrecking my body. I am nothing but bruises and blisters and abrasions from head to toe. My knees are on fire, and I haven’t been able to feel 3 of my toes for weeks. Tomorrow is May Day, which is a big deal in Germany. I will hate myself if I don’t go, but my body hates me for even thinking about it.
Berlin Beef Balls, Markthalle IX, Berlin. Photo by Scarlett Messenger
Berliner Burgers Recipe
ground beef
minced fresh garlic
paprika
salt
pepper
ketchup
German mustard
Butterkäse
brown bread
Step 1: Spend all day working on schoolwork and editing videos. Realize at 20:00 that you are starving and haven’t bathed or gotten dressed all day.
Step 2: Scrounge around your Playskool kitchen set for something to eat. Find ground beef. Sigh with resignation.
Step 3: Mix ground beef and the only spices you have in a bowl. Hope that you have translated the names of the spices correctly, because that whole “Kümmel” (caraway seed) and “cumin” mix up was pretty gross.
Step 4: Form meat into oblong patties to conform to the shape of the bread you have. It’s that seedy, dense, brown bread, but you are hoping it will work.
Step 5: Fry in the only frying pan you have on the tiny front burner because the large back burner makes it impossible to reach into the pan. Be sure to use a little butter — because Deutschland, that’s why. See your super hot German neighbor wave at you through your curtainless front window while you are standing, middle-aged and braless, with a greasy spatula in your hand.
Step 6: Serve on brown bread with Butterkäse (butter cheese), ketchup, and German mustard — not that nasty yellow American stuff. Watch your roommate spread his mustard with a spoon while making bird noises to himself and wonder if there is a god.
Step 7: Take a bite and realize you have invented the culinary equivalent to the brown dwarf star. However, it does taste good.
Step 8: See your hot neighbor wave at you again as he leaves to go do whatever super beautiful people do with their time. Realize that you are chewing on an oversize bite of grease-bomb and have ketchup on your shirt. Die a little inside.
An Study of the German Forest in Song, Myth, and Folklore
