Category Archives: Pop Culture

Pop Culture: Bernd das Brot

Our first night in Berlin, we came across a surreal program with an oddly shaped, brown rectangular puppet.  THis was my first introduction to “Bernd das Brot” or “Bernd the Bread”. according to Wikipedia:

Bernd is a depressed, grumpy, curmudgeonly, constantly bad-tempered, surly, fatalistic, melancholic loaf of pullman bread speaking in a deep, gloomy baritone. He is small, rectangular and golden brown with hands directly attached to his body, eyes circles and a thin-lipped mouth. According to himself, he belongs to the species “Homo Brotus Depressivus”. His favourite activities include staring at his south wall at home, learning the pattern of his woodchip wallpaper by heart, reading his favourite magazine The Desert and You, and enlarging his collection of the most boring railway tracks on video. Bernd sympathizes firstly with himself. His favorite expression is Mist!, used in much the same way as the English “crap”. His other favorite sentences are: “I would like to be left alone,” “I would like to leave this show,” and “My life is hell.”

Since then, Bernd has become my favorite thing in Germany. His morose nature and constant mistreatment made me feel better about my misfortunes on my trip. I have been trying to find some little piece of Bernd memorabilia to bring home, but haven’t found any yet.

His take on German history is something to behold, and his version of WWII is incredible.

Lessons Learned: American’s Sound Like Nasal Machinery

American’s love to make fun of German accents. Sure, it’s a harsh language, but it is also a very elegant and expressive language. However, multiple encounters have taught me that the American accent is hilarious to Germans as well. And with typical German directness they will tell you so.

Random German: You are American?
Me: Yes, what gave me away?
Random German: makes a nasally grinding “myah myah myah” sound while making a puppet mouth with their hand to indicate my accent
Me: I see….

In other words, I sound like this: