This week was dominated by a rather serious health crisis for my roommate, Elliott. He developed a very large abscess on his arm for reasons we still don’t understand. He ignored it for the better part of 6 days, even though I was begging him to have it looked at. We had to take him to the emergency room and have it surgically removed. I was rather annoyed to find out that he had neglected to get any kind of travelers insurance (even after I told him it was required) and had already spent all of his money (with a month left to go on our trip). I ended up having to spend the money allotted for my trip to Bavaria to pay for his hospital visit.
Note to hippies everywhere: if your philosophy is “hey man, it’s all good. the universe with provide”, in reality what you are saying is, “somebody will pay for me when it all crashes and burns, so I don’t have to actually try and be responsible up front and avoid the problem altogether.”
America about Germany: “Why didn’t the Germans stand up to Hitler? They are all guilty because they didn’t make a stand! If everyone had resisted, he wouldn’t have gained power”
America about America: “These people shouldn’t protest Trump, they are just giving him what he wants.”
Germany about America: “Seriously? SERIOUSLY?? *turns to Russia* Were they not watching before??”
Russia: *shrugs* “Don’t look at us. We’ve got Putin now.”
You know who keeps telling you protesting Trump is giving him what he wants? The Great All-Seeing Eye in your living room that wants you to go back to sleep, be it the television or your computer. This about standing up and showing your fellow Americans and the world that this is not something you want representing your country. This is about being able to sleep at night knowing you did not stay silent when a bully raised his fist. This is about telling all Americans who are Hispanic or Muslim or women or LGBTQ or African American or whatever other group this bastard has maligned that you will not stand idly by while monsters threaten to kill their families, round them up into ghettos, or simple legislate them into oblivion. This is not a drill people.
***
Elliott and I have decided we should put a personal ad in the Berlin Craigslist that reads: “Are you a human male? Do you enjoy shattering plastic with your mind like I do? If you are ready to receive my ovipositor, then respond to this mating cry at the correct frequency. We shall meet at the appointed coordinates for intoxicants and enfleshening.” Then if anyone replies, we will both meet them, and when they ask which one of us they were on a date with, we’ll say in unison, “WE ARE ONE. WE ARE ALL ONE IN THE EYES OF KRAVTOR.”
That awkward moment when you go shopping for summer clothes in Berlin because it’s going to be 80, and all you’ve bought so far is an ADORABLE little felted winter jacket that only reinforces that “hippie reject from The Sound of Music” look you’ve been working. Thank you, Deutschland.
I have just learned that there is a sketch comedy show on tv here in Germany called “Switch Reloaded” that has a reoccurring sketch called “Obersalzberg” that is like “The Office” but with Hitler and the Nazis.
I recant anything negative I have ever said about Germans not having a sense of humor. Between this, Flula Borg, and Bernd das Brot, I can honestly say that Germans are the most freakin’ hilarious people on the damn planet.
Dear Berlin, you can stop being 80 now, mmmkay? Signed, Person With Neurological Disease That Suffers Like a Malamute in a Hot Car in This Weather
I really want to go out exploring today, but its soooo hot and muggy and I don’t have proper clothing. And because Germans care more about the earth than heat stroke, AC isn’t a thing here (I know, not everyone has the problems I do with heat, but oh it’s so hard to function when your spinal cord is shorting out like a frayed extension cord)
Had to register for Fall quarter. Advanced German (my last class for my German minor), God, Forgiveness, and SciFi, and hopefully Anthropology of Sex and Gender (it’s a “majors only” class and it’s my second minor). Was super bored earlier and made this video, then the door buzzer rang and in waltzed Ben Kohn in all his mirthful splendor. I’m glad he did, because I had forgotten I needed to register today. Also, I really want cake.
Well, now I know what the German ER is like. And no, it wasn’t me for once.
Elliott is in the hospital. He had a wound on his arm and it became an abscess. He has to have surgery and stay over night in the hospital and will require lots of after care. Also important to note, do NOT travel overseas without getting travelers health insurance. You will have to pay out of pocket for everything. Health care is NOT free to non-citizens.
One of the worst things about taking Prednisone is that it makes you sweat. A lot. As in, stupid amounts. It’s been in the low 80s here in Berlin, and while others are walking around in jackets and sweaters, I have been sporting trashy tank tops and still sweating like a swine. I went to get groceries today and they don’t use air conditioning in the stores here. As I was checking out, I was sweating so badly it was running down my face and neck and dripping onto the conveyor belt. I felt so gross and embarrassed, especially since I have lost so much weight in the last 9 months and NOW I start sweating like a sideshow fat lady. In other news, I can now walk up to 3-5 miles a day without any trouble. This Berlin Boot Camp, the best weight loss program on earth.
Elliott had to go back to the hospital to have his bandaged changed, so I am alone this evening. I have the windows open, and the way the acoustics work here in the Panopticon it funnels all the noise from the street cafes out front right into our courtyard. I can here a group of Germans having a blast drinking and laughing and carousing. I wish I was the sort of person who could just approach people and make friends, but years of being reminded how “off-putting” I can be makes me totally gunshy about initiating contact. Even *I* find me abrasive. Oh well, I have TONS of work to do anyway.
Me: *listening to music and writing my analysis of folklore and WWII for class. Specifically I am discussing this image of a dead German soldier lying in the street during the Battle of Berlin while Russian soldiers rush past him in a blur. He’s so young and dreadfully still, the Russians are so frenzied, moving on to the next victory*
Google Music: o hai by the way, here’s Samuel Barber’s “Adagio for Strings” k thnx bi!
Me: NOT. ENOUGH. FUCKING. TEARS.
I am going through my website for school and finally filling out descriptions and information on all the pictures I have been posting. I think my last week here is going to be me grabbing ahold of things and crying while people try to pry me off them. “NOOOO! I won’t leave you, Alexanderplatz! You can’t make me!!!!” I’m even going to miss the weird way cleaning products smell. Sigh.