Week 1 started off badly, with us stranded on our first night in Berlin with nowhere to stay. We sorted out the misunderstanding, but Berlin and I got off on the wrong foot. Rather than try to conceal my culture shock, loneliness, and fear behind a veil of “cool”, I decided to make video blogs to give me a free place to wallow and expose how vulnerable I felt. This actually was very therapeutic, because it enabled me to feel safe in exploring the city, knowing that if the experience was less than positive I could always laugh about it later in my own “comedy of misery” style. I think that if I had not given voice to these feelings of disorientation I would have ended up paralyzed by fear. I think I took for granted how hard it was going to be to be a 45 year old woman with multiple disabilities to be separated from her husband and family for 12 weeks.
Welp. Made it to Berlin, only i apparently don’t have anywhere to live. My landlord isn’t here, i don’t have phone service, I’ve been traveling for 24 hours, and i just want to collapse. Looks like i am sleeping on the fucking sidewalk.
EDIT: My glorious husband saves the day! Found my landlord from 5000 miles away. All is well.
Personal Journal: Homeless in Berlin
Scarlett Meets ‘Bernd das Brot’ for the First Time
Personal Journal: I cooked dinner with a butter knife…
Gallery: Weinbergsweg Apartment
So, the only way we have wifi is to stand in between 2 restaurants in front of our building. Kind of a pain. Internet comes on tuesday. Here are some quick pics until then.
Today I was asked by a German if the whole Trump thing was more “slapstick or serious”.
My answer embarrassed me and did not comfort him.
You know how sometimes when you are in a sucky situation, like a lousy job or bad relationship, and you know it sucks so you leave and it isn’t until you have some distance from it that you realize exactly how horrible the situation had become?
Yeah, seriously, looking at us from this side of the pond is absolutely disgusting. We look like a bunch of zealots and maniacs to the rest of the world- and I’m not even talking about outside media, I’m talking about our own Facebook posts and news links. No place is perfect, but seriously, get your shit together, America.
Also, you know who is super nice and totally not raping or bombing me? Syrian refugees. I’m more afraid of the neighborhood hobo who went on a 10 minute rant about his new Android phone that was the most powerful phone in the world and a game he played on it called “smash hit”. And he was pretty entertaining. In fact, I’ve never felt safer in a city than here.
Except the bike Lane. Fuck the bike Lane.
Personal Journal: In East Berlin, shower washes you (and your living room floor)
Ok, before I completely lose my shit, someone please help me figure out how load this fucking nightmare washing machine. I am officially out of clean clothes, and my Internet is extremely limited right now. The drum doesn’t rotate manually and nothing about it opens. I already tried sitting on the floor and sobbing hysterically while chanting “nothing in this country works and I want to go home” , but that didn’t help. Seriously, I am about to spend the money to go home and this is the straw that is breaking my fucking back.
I have wifi for a brief moment! Still alive, but having problems getting connected. In front of the Berliner Dom as we speak! Promise many tales once we get connected!