Die zwei Wurzeln
Zwei Tannenwurzeln groß und alt
unterhalten sich im Wald.
Was droben in den Wipfeln rauscht,
das wird hier unten ausgetauscht.
Ein altes Eichhorn sitzt dabei
und strickt wohl Strümpfe für die zwei.
Die eine sagt: knig. Die andre sagt: knag.
Das ist genug für einen Tag.
Christian Morgenstern
(1871 – 1914), German writer, playwright, journalist and translator Continue reading Poem: Die zwei Wurzeln by Morgenstern
Week 1 started off badly, with us stranded on our first night in Berlin with nowhere to stay. We sorted out the misunderstanding, but Berlin and I got off on the wrong foot. Rather than try to conceal my culture shock, loneliness, and fear behind a veil of “cool”, I decided to make video blogs to give me a free place to wallow and expose how vulnerable I felt. This actually was very therapeutic, because it enabled me to feel safe in exploring the city, knowing that if the experience was less than positive I could always laugh about it later in my own “comedy of misery” style. I think that if I had not given voice to these feelings of disorientation I would have ended up paralyzed by fear. I think I took for granted how hard it was going to be to be a 45 year old woman with multiple disabilities to be separated from her husband and family for 12 weeks.
There is a word in German for missing a place you’ve never been. It is used to mean you have a desire for travel, to see new places. Instead, I seem to be having a sort of nostalgia for a place and time I have never seen. Growing up during the Cold War, my uncle was stationed here in the 70s. Everywhere I go here has this weird feeling like I miss something, or that it reminds me of my childhood somehow. Everything is so familiar and yet so alien.
I am having difficulty sleeping. Of course, part of that might be the neighbor who decided to dump a years worth of recycling down the stairs at 3:30 this morning, or whatever happened. Ah, life in the big city, how I missed you. Everything is so quiet around here that when people do make a big ruckus it really stands out. Today I am going to go out into the city by myself and try and track down a kitchen knife and a can opener, as well as some groceries for tomorrow. Everything is closed on Sundays and I want to be prepared.
Went grocery shopping by myself today. I fared well, I just turn on my “city walk” I learned in LA and nobody messes with me. I don’t know why I am surprised every time someone assumes I am German. I guess I think I stick out like a sore thumb, screaming “big fat American chick” everywhere I go. In Germany, yogurt is a thing, and the selection is intimidating. They even had marzipan flavored yogurt. Shopping took forever because I had to try and figure out what I was looking at. They have McDonalds brand ketchup in bottles here. McDonalds is a thing as well, there seem to be everywhere. I almost died laughing when I saw there was an “American Food” section at the store, similar to the “Asian Food” section back home. It wasn’t that it existed as much as what it contained. Cholula hot sauce and peanut butter were the 2 that stood out.
I miss my Soda Stream. The water here tastes like a gopher died in it, was resurrected, and killed again for good measure. Everyone drinks mineral water, but it gets pricey. I have tried to switch to tea as much as I can, but I just can’t get behind it.
Both Elliott and I are fairly convinced our apartment is haunted. Seriously. Last night we both had an occasion where we were certain the other one had come in to the other’s room, only to find there was no one there. Elliott even had a short conversation with “me” before it dawned on him I wasn’t there. So far, these things only seem to happen in the wee, dark hours of the morning. Regardless of how insane this might sound, it is interesting.
Still haven’t made eye contact with a dog yet.
Washing machine continues to be a mystery, and my clothes are piling up. Perhaps the ghost is the spirit of the washing machine letting me know it has passed on? Now I am picturing The Water Gopher and the Spülengeist floating and glowing like Yoda and Obi Wan.
I just wanted to add that I have never felt so cool in my life as I do waiting for the U-Bahn.
Street life is everything in Berlin. Life is lived in public, in the parks, the cafes, and on the streets. Germans love the outdoors and have structured most of their cities to make use of the natural beauty of the land and create the most delightful and usable spaces possible. Cafes almost always have outdoor seating, and graffiti and advertisements seem to be intended to decorate the cityscape rather than pollute. Berlin is a walking city, as I quickly learned. My reliance on public transportation was very difficult for me at first due to my mobility issues. After a few weeks I was walking with the best of them, had lost a considerable amount of weight, and had managed to build muscle and stamina where I hadn’t been able to before. I almost dread coming home to a lack of so much as a sidewalk, let alone a pedestrian friendly environment.
